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Sometimes You’re the Pigeon. Sometimes You’re the Statue.

The pigeons came back, built a nest, and laid an egg in one of my planters. 

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This was serious. If the pigeons were planning on raising their young right there on my porch than surely they’d never leave. 

So drastic measures had to be taken. I apologize to the faint of heart, but the egg was disposed of. In all fairness, I did ask my friend who raised pigeons if he wanted it and he said no. 

Again, I didn’t want to spend any money on pigeon deterrent products because reviews consistently show the pigeons will come back.

Aware of the pigeon problem, my roommate brought out her two air-soft guns and stored them in our coffee table. Whenever she or I heard coo-ing outside we’d very quietly open the door, take aim, and fire. I’m no quick-draw or sharp-shooter, but a couple times I nailed ‘em right on the neck without their suspecting.

Ha!

Honest, it was pretty fun. I kind of want the pigeons to come back so I have something for target practice.

But thankfully they’re gone! I’ve seen them around the apartment complex perching on someone else’s balcony.

Disclaimer: I’m sure the air-soft pellets were nothing more than an annoyance to the pigeons. At the very worst they may have felt similar to being hit by a paintball. Which isn’t at all comfortable. But no pigeons were killed or maimed in the course of this story.

-Erica

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