Sometimes You’re the Pigeon. Sometimes You’re the Statue.

The pigeons came back, built a nest, and laid an egg in one of my planters. 


This was serious. If the pigeons were planning on raising their young right there on my porch than surely they’d never leave. 

So drastic measures had to be taken. I apologize to the faint of heart, but the egg was disposed of. In all fairness, I did ask my friend who raised pigeons if he wanted it and he said no. 

Again, I didn’t want to spend any money on pigeon deterrent products because reviews consistently show the pigeons will come back.

Aware of the pigeon problem, my roommate brought out her two air-soft guns and stored them in our coffee table. Whenever she or I heard coo-ing outside we’d very quietly open the door, take aim, and fire. I’m no quick-draw or sharp-shooter, but a couple times I nailed ‘em right on the neck without their suspecting.


Honest, it was pretty fun. I kind of want the pigeons to come back so I have something for target practice.

But thankfully they’re gone! I’ve seen them around the apartment complex perching on someone else’s balcony.

Disclaimer: I’m sure the air-soft pellets were nothing more than an annoyance to the pigeons. At the very worst they may have felt similar to being hit by a paintball. Which isn’t at all comfortable. But no pigeons were killed or maimed in the course of this story.



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